Hostages in Afghanistan

With 23 hostages-18 women- and one man already killed and possible second victim still in investigation...the world is watching closely the progress of this kidnapping incident as I type.

The politics, negotiations, should've, would've, could've are not my concerns here. I am concerned for those South Korean hostages and their families in South Korea helplessly praying at the moment. I heard through the media that the hostages, prior to their departure to Afghanistan trip, each have submitted the death-will to their church administration.

I am not a total stranger to such volunteer trips as myself have gone on couple of these. I went through an extensive preparation to raise the fund and was trained in culture, language, and people of the countries visited. The year I went on a mission trip to S.E. Asia in 1989, the original itinerary was altered due to the Tienanmen Square Protest and Massacre. Although many other such teams still pursued the trip to China that year, the organization which I belonged to at the time have decided that they could not risk any chances with over 40 college students on board.

The young medical volunteer team from S. Korea pursued the trip knowing the high risks they are facing. But, the church and its administrators may have been somewhat relaxed about the risks since they were actively volunteering in Afghanistan last few years-several times a year- and all returned safely prior to this incident.

Regardless, these volunteers went out of their way of comfortable lifestyle in S. Korea, highly aware of the risks they are taking with their own lives, and giving up their vacation time to help the needed in Afghanistan. All the criticisms on these volunteers and their church leaders ... would they have gotten the same criticism if there were no such incident and returned home safely as planned? The negotiation sounds like a catch 22 to me...

I read about the first victim, Pastor Bae, and his 37 year-old wife on the newspaper. She and I are about the same age. As she quietly cry to grieve for her late husband, I see the pain and suffering beyond and within. She could not fully grieve because of the concerns for the rest of the team members as well as the S. Korean media pressure. Taliban may have murdered her husband, but she is suffering twice because the media criticisms are keeping her grief as a hostage. Cannot imagine the amount of pain and suffering a widow is faced in this time of crisis. I symphathize her more so because she and I are on the same timeline of life-cycle.

The medias and the Netizens of S. Korea are very hostile toward the church and accusing them be responsible for everything. Sometimes, things happen against one's plan. It is a difficult time for all and the least anyone could do is to hope and pray for the best!

Neko II

When I first adopted her, she barely weighted 1/2 lb. Yesterday, I weighted her first time since then and found that she is now 3 lbs. strong. Just in a month and a half!

Right now, she's sleeping aside my feet as I work on my computer. She's not much of a lap-cat, but she seems to follow me all over the apartment. She doesn't want to be held most of the time, but she follows me to bed when I go to sleep. The days that we take nap together, I find her remarkably more docile and cooperative than the days we didn't sleep together. No wonder cats are compared to women, not to men! ^^

Single's Habit

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There are good habits, bad habits, and then there are single's habits.

One of my worst habit of all as a thirty-something single is that I try getting rid of anything that makes me lonely.

Just like most people I know of, I also carry a cell phone, but with very few incoming calls. Most calls are work-related, but none urgent that I couldn't do it without cell phone or wait until I get home.

Also, my students sometimes misuse the system and call me at the last minute to miss a rehearsal or two. Don't like that very much! They could use text-messages instead if they need to find me at the last minute, but it limits their ability to pursue me with manipulative last-minute excuses. No need to raise my voice over the phone to get them in while I am shuffling around to get myself ready for the rehearsals.

By getting rid of(?) my cell phone, I could kills several birds in one stone.
One less big bill to pay each month, no annoying calls that interrupt my schedule, and most of all, eliminate another evil that makes me lonely. Whether or not to kick this habit is still in debate!

Think twice!

what's district superintendent got to do with me?

i am so frustrated i haven't slept since yesterday. i've made a terrible mistake of agreeing to this gig at the tail-end of the summer with btb at the superintendent's breakfast meeting. why didn't i tell the coordinator that i will have to take time to think before making the commitment? sigh...

i've emailed him yesterday certain that with the plenty of time notice, it'll be ok to cancel, but his email sounded of nothing short of panic. i was upset at first, of course, of his uncooperative tone of the email. now, i am shuffling more reasonable way to get out of it. can't defeat the enemy(?), then work with the enemy. well, at least that's the plan. i've already sent him half a dozen of emails since last email he's sent me last night, or early this morning to be exact. like 1AM this morning.

i don't like media attention nor featuring my singers at political events unless we are handsomely compensated financially, and only during the year, not on my break. this gig features all of the above. it's taking place late august while my students and i are still on summer break. superintendent's reception sounds political enough for me. and worst of all, we will be on TV live! YIKES! why? why didn't i think this through and through.

well, i thought the students may enjoy the media attention and we are not a bad performing group to be advertised through the media, i thought at first. free advertisement and possible recruitment statement such as "our choir was on blah, blah, blah...". and the person asking for this... well, ye know one of those people you really want to be on your side, yes, he's one of them. guess i was greedy and calculative at the moment. a bit of coward for not being able to be above momentary temptations. rather partaking in the sea of opportunity...

so, why am i backing off now? simple! can't get the kids together and practice all summer long. to be more exact, i could do it but not without much frawning and such. i am tired, my advanced singers all graduated, and i am not willing to take the mediocre performance in public eyes. meaning, i have to really choke them up to sing like profesionals in about... a month of time. have you worked with beginning singers in the midst of their adolescent voice changes and make them sing like great singers while their friends are running around the town like loose monkeys, bragging about their 'got nothing to do' free time? if you have, then you know what the damage would be to your soul. also, in the past, i've never encountered problem recruiting students to perform at the last minute, ever! so, choking kids to do something is not my style nor the interest.

also, something changed this year. what changed? ME! i am burnt out, exhausted, grumpy, unwilling to work without pay, and ... afraid that i may truly burn out by going forward with this monsterous(?) rehearsals i may have to run all summer long just to sing couple songs... and of course, i may have to lose extra 10 lbs on top of 20 lbs i've already vowed to lose before the summer ends. ye know the saying about how TV puts up extra 10 lbs on people? hehehehe, ok, ok, i was just kidding about the 10 lbs. part.

still! i don't think this is something worth losing my mind and break-time over while i am seriously tyring to do the teacher soul-searching and rejuvenate for upcoming year! guess what i really need to do this summer is not just vege all day and rest, but rather take an assertion class to accurately identify the issues, recognize the obstables, know my limits, then effectively and clearly state my opinion without fearing to offend others.

btw, is there such thing as an assertion training course? if so, is it designed to teach those things i've mentioned above? or am i too insomniac to think like a reasonable person..., again?!

The Last Concert

...well, that's what he thinks...

Dr. Miyake has announced that tonight's concert will be his last one, ever! we'll see about that.

glamour vs. glaze

To be continued..


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